You gotta be kidding me!

It was the first time I left a book unread after flipping through the first few pages. And it is saying something because I even read twilight when my friend suggested I read it ( I feel like I betrayed Harry Potter). But anyway, this one was even WORSE!

Ever since I read Vikram Seth’s poem in my English textbook and “A thing beyond forever” by Navoneel Chakraborty, I’ve been interested in reading more works by Indian authors. So one day I walked into the earlier strictly prohibited section of English books by Indian authors and got three books with good titles (atleast better than the others…er)

Not suspecting anything amiss, I started reading one and there I saw a-wait-ah no!- I’ll say it,-a – nooo!, okay a GRAMMATICAL ERROR! What? Sorry! A GRAMMATICAL BLUNDER!!

The book was written in PRESENT tense. Period.

No book is ever written in present tense. Atleast not the one in which the protagonist recollects his past that is the ones written in FLASHBACK MODE!

Realizing this I threw away the book in disgust as if it were something infectious, figuratively speaking as I respect books too much to do that. (as a punishment for it I put it in the darkest, most dusty, dingy-est and farthest corner of my bookshelf).

Plucking up courage, I started with the second one. Why didn’t my eyes POP OUT! It had SMS-LINGO!! And if that was not enough, 

*dramatic pause*

*drumroll*

SPELLING ERRORS!! Do not get me started on grammar.

To get over the misery I read The Digital Fortress. Again.

Third time lucky, I prayed, begged. No, grammar was fine. But story, not so. A college romance, again. Excused. Bad try at humour. Cannot be excused. Looked like a copy from some Bollywood chic-flick. And a bad copy, if I might add.

( no details as to the identity given because I don’t want you guys to ass kick me if you happen to like them, wait, since that’s not possible let me rephrase, “if you are the author because no one else would read it anyway. )

I always thought that before publishing a book it was thoroughly scrutinized, edited and a cover page carefully designed (and not use a stupid collage of some random pictures on a white background and no contrast or some cheaply  photoshoped cloudy background with unrelated gifs strewn all over it haphazardly or maybe some unremarkable landscape). How can a publishing company be so desperate to publish something, anything, that it can gamble its credibility for it? Because a bad story can still be excused as a fault of the writer, but GRAMMATICAL ERRORS are just TOO MUCH!

I promise to you my readers, that when I have my own publishing house, I would never allow such a catastrophe. Only the best would be published. If any of my fellow blogers want something published, they might send it to me. Special discounts if you are following my blog. Hurry! (advertising already am I ? ). Anyways,

Conditions apply.

Nervous Breakdowns....urgh!

Suddenly I feel crappy even though nothing really happened. I was literally quite happy a moment ago, joking, fooling around and making my best friend laugh. NOTHING at all happened and I start sulking. He got all worried and started enquiring if someone had said something to upset me. And I had absolutely no answer. Because nothing happened, anyway. I am the sort of person who preaches the teachings of His Awesomeness, Barney Stinson, “When I’m sad I stop being sad and start being awesome.” to every person I come across. And I follow it most of the times. For confirmation you may consult the friend I mentioned above.

Its just that, so many small, insignificant bad things happen. If looked at individually, I would laugh at the stupid prospect of someone being upset by things so minor. But this small stuff, sorta builds up. You might put it at the back of your mind, but the thing is, its still there.

Its like stuffing lots of liquid waste in a can, you can stuff it up to a limit before it bursts and that exactly is what I call BREAKING DOWN.

I’m scared to death by these emotional breakdowns because they make a person difficult to tolerate. They start talking non-sense, getting irritable and unbearable. Some start crying K (I HATE tears! It’s my weakness to give whatever a-person-with-a-tear-stained-face asks for just to get ‘em off my back. Tears- URGH!)

Annoying, they are. But you can’t live without them, really. Sometimes everyone needs to get the crap out of their heads. No one can, even the strongest person on earth, live without breaking down once in a while.

When this happens, and be assured it will even to you dear reader, all you would want is a friend to listen without offering solutions, because these problem are meant to be forgotten and not solved. You just need the reassuring sounds of “hmn” , “ohh” and “awwh” that too just to make sure that you have your friend’s attention. Once its out of your mouth, its out of your mind. You’re free again to be normal and cheerful and, well, you get the feel.

I don’t want to boast, but there’s no doubt that I have a pretty big CAN that can hold up stuff for longer periods of time. But umm(shit! I mean shot!), it makes a greater mess when it bursts!